Tagging onto my previous post where I told everyone about how I needed to limit the scope of my business now, I've recently learned that I also need to stop giving my business all my free time. Before Willow, I used to spend hours of my day when even if I wasn't taking care of obvious business needs like emails, editing, orders, etc, I was still reading things that would help my business or spending way too much time in Facebook photography groups or chatting online with fellow business owners. It was just a natural part of every day.
But it's not anymore. Now, learning about toddler growth development, the human immune system, or baby sleep patterns is a much more natural part of my day. I'm always learning and researching more... it's just who I am. But there always comes a point in my learning where I need to stop because it's too much. See, I'm not just interested in learning all this stuff, I'm trying to dispel fears. What starts as an innocent problem in need of a solution can send me down a winding road that takes me somewhere completely different. I remember when my orthopedist told me that after two cases of whiplash, my neck would just hurt forever, and I was so outraged that I began researching other solutions and that led me to chiropractic care, which led me to a whole world of alternative medicine and natural healthcare that I had really known nothing about until then. It completely changed my life in a good way.
But sometimes the rabbit hole can lead to an obsessive paranoia where worries consume me. I know a lot of mothers relate to this because I've talked with them about it! We try so hard and there's so much contradicting information and so many judgmental people watching your every move. It's easy to get lost and give up.
So I've started marking my calendar with the days that I will devote nap time to my business and I left a bunch of Facebook groups that I didn't need to be wasting any more time in. I've started collecting little things here and there to begin new home improvement projects I've been thinking about. I even downloaded a video game recently that I've been playing just for no reason at all except it's relaxing to put a podcast on and build me some roller coasters! Haha.
And speaking of podcasts, I started MAKING one with my friend Randi about one of our favorite TV shows, LOST. It's called Freckles and Blondie. We've been having so much fun. It was a little overwhelming at first to learn how to make the podcast itself and we had so many equipment issues and website hurdles, but we persevered and are really enjoying rewatching LOST and analyzing it week to week. It's refreshing to have a hobby that's just for fun, just for me. I mean, that used to be photography, but of course now it's a business and has lost a little of the shine it used to have. This podcast has just been pure fun, and it's the kind I really love where I get to think really deeply about something and discuss it with someone I like and respect!
Self care is so important and it always feels like such a ridiculous problem to have... oh, I don't take care of myself enough. Like, how luxurious is my life that I need to take time out to do things for myself? I don't know, the phrase has always bugged me for some reason. But it doesn't make it any less true. I DO need to carve out time for myself, and time for Erik and I as a couple, or else those things just get pushed to the side in the hustle of life.
My next step is to use my phone less. That will be really hard as I, like so many of us, am definitely addicted to my phone. I don't want to be that person though. I don't want Willow to look up and see me looking at my phone more than I'm looking at her. Or god forbid, to turn into those people who eat dinner together but stare at their phones the entire time. That is my worst nightmare and while we're not like that, I understand how it happens.
So in the interest of self care, I'm going to return to my yoga mat, which I've been utilizing a lot more often lately, and then I may begin work on one of my projects. And if I don't, that's okay! Maybe I should just nap instead ;)