Sick Days

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We’ve been holed up at home ever since the Thanksgiving holidays. Between all the activity, the people, and the frigid temperatures, Willow and Erik both managed to catch a cold at the same time. No fun. No fun at all.

Colds are frustrating as an adult, but when you’re little and don’t know how to do things like blow your nose to relieve some of your discomfort, it’s just the worst! I think the last time Willow was sick was last winter, and at that time she really just got extra clingy and cuddly and slept a ton. I remember one day she slept 20 hours and I couldn’t believe it! Not so this time around. Now she’s older, wiser, and much more angry when she is uncomfortable haha

Willow has always been a dichotomy of contradictions. She seemed to inherit an even mix of Erik and Tiffany traits that seem like they couldn’t possibly go together, but somehow my little Gemini makes it work. She can be excruciatingly shy and also such a little leader. Very quiet and gentle or a boisterous performer. She can be very sweet and also brutally clear about what she wants (and it is NOT the thing you’re trying to give her). She’s very sensitive and emotional, but so independent that she already pushes us away when she’s crying or upset. I’m not sure if it’s embarrassment or pride, but she definitely doesn’t want people to see her cry. Not sure how normal that is for a two year old, but that’s Willow.

So, you can imagine that sickness is a bit of a roller coaster ride. Willow feels miserable, so she desperately calls for mommy. Mommy tries to hold her, comfort her, give her some medicine, etc, and she doesn’t want to be touched at all and screams “go away!” Of course, she’s mad if I actually leave, so really, what happens is I sit nearby and watch my poor girl struggle with her physical ailments and her very big emotions. When she stops fighting everything and she’s ready… MAYBE… She might let me rock her in the rocking chair. For a little while. I ask her if she wants me to sing her some songs and she says no, but she really does want them, so she pathetically tries to sing them to herself through her sniffles.

Painfully independent.

And yet, for the first time since she was an infant, I’ve gotten to watch Willow fall asleep this week. From the time she was a couple weeks old, I noticed that if I was staring at her, she was so interested in me that my stare would distract her and she couldn’t fall asleep. So I learned to look away, and then she would relax. Then when she was older she had to sleep in her crib, in the dark, by herself. If I held her or tried to rock/sing her to sleep, it was always too distracting. But, feeling sick this week, she started asking me to stay in her room.

I sat in the rocking chair while she lay in her bed and I watched her little fingers rub her favorite blanket until she drifted off to sleep. It was so sweet to see. She’s so sensitive to sounds and light that even when I try to peek in on her at night before I go to bed, the opening of the door would wake her. So, in a way I enjoyed these weird past few days of watching my baby fall asleep.

That said, I’m tired haha. I’m remembering the baby days when Willow needed me a few times per night and I’d diligently go to her. Of course, I finally caught whatever she and Erik had as soon as they started feeling better, so I’m fighting that on top of the sleepless nights and busy days of round the clock nursing.

Time to go chug some more home remedies and try to kick this cold before the weekend!